LUST

Don’t push me down yet another hill
And watch me free-fall against my will.
Don’t sneak in when my guard is low
And take me where I shouldn’t go.
Leave my thoughts alone
I won’t go down this road.
You’re not my friend-
Don’t dare pretend.
Don’t tempt me with these fantasies
Afflict me not, you foul disease.

But as your whisper tingles my ears
The promise of pleasure allays my fears.
So I unravel a bit- an inch; no further.
If it stays in my mind, it’s hardly murder.
And as visions and sensations wash over me
I lose restraint in the reverie.
The longing is born and starts to grow;
But I’ve not actually done; so I’m sure I’m in control.
Desire flares hot all over me,
My defences shot down by your army;
But by now, I’m your slave- more than willing to serve
Your flame burns in every sinew and nerve.

I’m totally consumed; and you lead- but where?
These currents are stronger than I can bear.
So I’m frantic- no desperate for an outlet.
If two consent, what can it hurt?
So the passions are shared, one to another
But the fire burns hot and consumes altogether.
Then, at last, comes the summer of two bodies fulfilled;
Before long frozen out by the winter of guilt.

That’s where you leave me- a cold and barren place
Shivering so bad, I can barely reach for Grace.
That’s where I end up- when pleasure loses lustre
And reason returns- but it’s the morning after.
Even then, will you leave me be;
When innocence is reduced to a fading memory?
Will that do; tell me, will it suffice-
That you bought that first bloom with a handful of lies?
Will you leave well enough alone?
Or is it merely a seed you’ve sown;
One you’ll keep coming back to tend-
If I give in once, does it ever end?
It starts with a thought- a fleeting fantasy
Compromise by compromise, you lay your hands on me;
Then you distract me with these passions
While you destroy me with these actions.
Deeper and deeper, you twist the knife
And I can’t even see you’re draining my life.
You said you were my friend; but it was an act:
Who needs the devil when I can self-destruct?

When does thought crystallize to deed?
When does it get too late to flee?
How long will the warning bells toll?
How many pieces of sin make a whole?

If once ignited, you won’t retreat,
I’d best not give you the driver’s seat
Or any other- in fact, this mind is occupied
With what’s true, noble, just, pure, lovely, Christ-certified.
Before you lay out my do’s and don’ts,
I announce to you, lust, you’ve lost your vote.
Now the Spirit of God advises me:
And what He says, I do: I flee.