Drifter

How come everyone’s swaying
And I’m still?
Why is it their voices are praying
But I can’t sense Your will?
What’s wrong with me?
Is there something wrong indeed?
I used to sway and shout my throat sore;
But now, my heart longs for much more.
How come I’m so drained and empty
While Your Spirit moves- ostensibly?
Am I missing it?
Am I stuck on wit?
Is my Spirit dead;
And religion filling my head?

What’s wrong with me, Lord?
I feel so lost.
Show me the way, Lord;
Let me feel Your pulse.
In a room full of people, I’m the only one
Who seems to sense Your being shunned.
What if this is all in my head?
Why am I the only one perturbed?
There’s Your ‘Man of God’
Taking up Your stage;
Who am I to question his message
Of ease and imminent breakthroughs;
Based on my small reading of Your truth?
There’re Christians here; I’m not the best-
So why’s my soul troubled the worst?
I’m far from worthy to perceive
In a room full of souls who truly believe.
Why me; why now; why this; why here?
If I’m so right, why should I fear?
Is everyone else deaf or blind?
How can this be only in my mind?
They pray, they fast, they seek after You;
So why would You hide from them Your truth?

As impetuous and scandalous as this all seems,
I know Your voice from deep within.
This truth is bitter, and weighs me down
Yet I can’t quench or quiet it now.
Though it robs me of yet another comfort zone;
I surrender, I’m Your servant- use me as Your own.